40 Blessings as I Turn 40 # 10 MUSIC

 "Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me."

In my old posts, I have always mentioned that I love music but music does not love me with same deep passion as I don't have the voice to audition for my Adam, Lea Salonga and Miley.:)

I do not remember a single day that I did not play music. I can't drive well without music, I even pay $10 monthly for my Apple music so I can download anytime albums of my favorite artists (most recent purchased is Red Pill Blues by Maroon 5) and songs that just pop in my mind.

My patients now call me The Singing Nurse and Songbird as I sing on the floor. One time, a patient caught me off guard when  during a time that treatment was long delayed due to technical problems, he even managed to ask me what song should I sing during that crisis, and so I thought of one and I sang, " Hold on little girl, show me what it's done for you. Stand up, little girl,  broken heart can't be that bad..." by Mr. Bigg! And he commented, "Fair enough!" :)

"When you're happy, you enjoy the music. When you're sad, you understand the lyrics."

Pak na pak!!! 

Music undeniably has the power to take me back to a certain moment in my life like nothing else can.  It's like double espresso that awakens the soul and heart's veins to the different emotions evoked by both lyrics and melody. I hear Odette Quesdada's Till I Met  You and suddenly I miss loving someone. I am listening at this minute to Jose Mari Chan's Christmas in our Hearts album and my teen-age holiday years come back in reverie.

Adele's voice force me to belt out the notes, Laura Story's songs ( of course, discovered her from Ate Kris), make my everyday life bearable.  I have an eclectic kind of  music playlists stored, as my passengers have noticed. My old friends in PH know my line of saying "Ay, favorite ke ing kantang'yan" too often.

So it is, THANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC, THE SONG I"M SINGING!!

Music. Melody. Lyrics.

40 Birthday Blessings as I Turn 40 #9 MY US DIZON FAMILY

They quietly witnessed my sobs and screams in my first few months in America as trial after another passed by along my life's pavement. They prayed for me and with me, welcomed me in their homes and hearts as  member of their small, tight-knit family not only because I am the sister of Koyang Miller, their in-law but because generosity and openhandedness run in their blood.

The kids treat me like their own Tita. There is always food on the table waiting for me when I come home from work. Now that I am slowly making a mark in my career and pathway, they celebrate with me with fondness.

Daddy Amor, Mommy Pely, Ate Liza, Kong Jo and Therese, Ate Nonet, Kong Raymund, Lexi and Pia and last but not the least, Ate Reggie belong in my solid, steady support here in America. I believe that they are God's best choice to serve as my family here to protect me, care for me and make me feel I am not totally alone (as I still sometimes feel).

I am grateful. I am blessed.


Generosity Care. Kindness.

40 Birthday Blessings as I Turn 40 #8 JUSTIN

He is my most favorite nephew. Born 6 1/2 months fourteen years ago, he is now taller than me, a member of his school's student council, guitarist of the Sunday choir group in our parish in Azusa,  a Math tutor to his classmates. These are among the few of Justin's gifts and talents .

I miss Mamang every day, yet this young man eases the pain and emptiness I feel. We pester each other always, when he acts as "special" to grab my attention and when we "fight " over fried chicken and steak.Justin keeps me sane, I remind myself that he, Kadie and Mike are God's biggest reasons why He made me migrate in US.

Of late, Jakjak serves as my company on occasions like baby shower, going to Costco, exploring new food hubs and strolling at the mall. He is my "unsolicited conscience " reprimanding me with his lines," Tita, you are spending too much. Tama na." 










I feel privileged each time Justin shares to me his thoughts, when he tells me who his crush is and why he is so tightwad. He makes me listen to new guitar piece he is learning to play. 

Jakjak is very generous with hugs and "I love you" to us. I admire him for that coz I know that not a lot, especially his age, can be as demonstrative as him in showing affection.

May my most-favorite nephew, yes , he is the only one I have, know in his heart that he is very dear to his Tita Mitzi. I thank God that he is growing up well and at the right path.

Family. Love. Forever.

40 Birthday Blessings as I Turn 40 #7- MYKELA

Mykela to many. Mikee to us, M to me. Such a sweet, simple girl who has a great sense of humor. She, who runs to me upon seeing me and would want me to carry her as she is tiny. She showers us with her loving embraces. She is always excited to play with her Kuya Justin. She is mighty proud of her Ate Kadie's school achievements. Last March, when Koyang Mark, her dad, was in PH for Mamang's 80th birthday, M was crying, "Daddy, I can't sleep well without you beside me." Oh my heart bled.

Two years ago, she gave me a pair of earrings worth $5, purchased from their school bazaar. She even wrapped them in satin. These earrings I so cherish like my real diamond studs.

Mykela reminds me of how simple life should be. Just be nice, spread cheer to the world thru laughter and love. I make it a point to tell this niece of mine I love her. I wanna make her feel secure that she is precious and special to all of us. Tita loves you so much, my darling.

We will create endless selfies, owkei???:)

Family. Love. Forever.

40 Birthday Blessings as I Turn 40 #6 NOVENAS

I am loud, "maarte", impatient, I sometimes cuss and curse. I can be proud and hold grudges for a lengthy time. However I think I will even worse if I do not pray and recite my novenas. Since high school days, I pray the Mother of Perpetual Help novena. I brought with me in US the Sta. Ana novena written in Kapampangan. I rotate the recitation of Our Lady of Manaoag, Our Lady of Fatima, St. Jude Thaddeus, St. Anthony de Padua, St. Joseph, etc. booklets.I pray throughout the day Memorare. 

I have a twisted personality, old friends used to describe me as having "tripolar" disorder. Yet one thing remains consistent, I pray, ask for all the saints' intercession. I am makulit that way. I kindly ask them to help make me a good girl and to keep me away from temptations, to keep my family safe and whisper my tiny requests here and there.

Most important reason why despite the extreme busyness of life and all other activities I have, I unceasingly recite all my novena prayers because it provides my antsy and edgy soul the right kind of calmness. 

Faith. Prayer.Hope.

40 Blessings as I Turn 40 #5 MAYET

Mayet is the caregiver of our Mamang. Lately, Koyang Miller calls her Architect-Engineer-Foreman Mayet as she tours us along the house construction in Sta.Ana. She has always been all-around.She cooks the best asado, her recipe has traveled to Middle East and here in America. One time we had an occasion and food was catered, but most of my cousins were looking for her asado. From then on, asado has been a constant part of the menu for every household event.

She used to curl my hair beautifully, she was more excited when I receive friends at home. She can't help but clean the house every single day, does the laundry and all the other tasks.Name it she will do it. All of these she does with a smile, as if looking after Mom is not a heavy burden at all.

She never wears make-up, but since she has kikay Mamang, she slowly learned to use eyebrow pencil and gel on her each Sunday they attend mass. She religiously applies powder and blush on Mom twice a day.When she was barely new to us, she told me she will try to do everything for Mom and the household except using syringes as it totally freaks her out. Alas, Mom was prescribed insulin, I told her we can hire a home health nurse to administer the medication. You guessed it! She faced her fear, befriended the syringes and is now comfy giving the insulin to Mamang.

I know how it can be difficult to attend to Mamang's needs. Mayet spoiled her, she is like Mayet's baby. Mom can't sleep soundly without having Mayet and Kakay on the floor beside her. They are so tight. Now I am away from them, I even envy the mother and daughter tandem coz they are always with Mamang. 

We consider Mayet our family, she has genuine love and affection for our mother. She is a definitive sign from God that Mamang will be taken cared of even if us, her children live thousand miles apart for her. I include Mayet and her family every day in my prayers. I always thank God for her, and I make sure that she knows she is well-appreciated.

Care. Give.Receive.

40 Blessings as I Turn 40 #4 MY WORK AND TEAM

 Repost from my Instragram account, January 12, 2016.

Life is truly full of surprises, in an unexpected twist of events, I found myself being introduced to the world of dialysis wherein I had zero experience. MedicalSurgical, OB Gyne, Psychiatry and Academe were the areas I am most comfortable and I must say, have ample exposure. As dazed as I was, my fate's early rough roads quietly led me to a smooth destination . Here I am now with God's grace and Mama Mary's intercession, I am starting to love and embrace a whole new Nursing universe. I know I still have a bunch to learn, the journey is miles ahead. There will be bumps along but I am ready . Grateful and humbled for this achievement.

The best things in my work???

•  We have fun.. we laugh , sing and dance  with the patients as our audience.
• Each day we are at the clinic, we re reminded of one significant purpose - as stated by our patients- we make a difference in their lives.
• Sunday is an OFF day!!! Yayyy to Eucharistic celebrations!!:)
• Generally, we all work in a harmonious manner. 
• I have the best clinic manager who always allow me to go home to PH to visit my Mom.
• My teammates are also my advisers and friends.
• My patients call me Songbird, The Singing Nurse!:

Work. Play. Care.

40 Beautiful Blessings as I Turn 40 #3 LEGS, LEGS

I am humble to admit that I don't have the beauty of a model or artist. I was not gifted with a pointed nose and well-chiseled face. Yet a good number of people compliment my legs, some describe them as "chicken legs". So I have also learned to appreciate my lower extremities as well. :)

I remember when I was in my school-age years, I wished for callous to grow on my feet as some of my cousins have one or two and they thought I was crazy.  I am lucky that no matter what kind or brand of shoes I wear, my feet remain to be callous-free.

It may also be in our genes that none of us siblings had cracked skin on our soles.

Now that I work full-time as a floor nurse, I take care of my legs by using Jobst stockings to kind of prevent varicose veins. I am blessed to have my gastrocs and soleus muscles, may my cadence be always steady both literally and figuratively.

Walk.Run. Rest.

40 Beautiful Blessings as I Turn 40 #1 DRIVING 101

Driving is an enduring task for me. I do not enjoy it, I get anxious always when I am on the steering wheel. Back in PH, I tell my friends I don’t drive on weekends so I can have a pass to be a passenger.

Here in America, I passed the actual driving exam on the 3^rd time, I am quite a lousy driver, beware!! Once, Among Ching asked how come I am able to drive on freeway when I am a newbie here, I gave them the “secret of 3”- full fuel tank, full phone battery charge, Apple maps. The 4^th, when the destination is more complicated is Tylenol as stress causes me headache. J Having the rosary, Bukas Palad and Laura Grace’s songs on the background are huge help to calm my nervous nerves.

Each night as I park Adam, my RAV4 at the garage I whisper a thank you to Jesus and my angel for making me arrive safely. My heart rate becomes regular in rate and rhythm as I turn off the engine.

How I wish I can still drive Kobe, my ever first car which I actually drove in PH. It is manual transmission. The clutch, Primera, segunda...

Now I am telling, driving never makes me happy. I just have to do it. If only I can afford to pay for a chauffeur, I will.:)

40 Beautiful Blessings as I Turn 40 #2 PRAYERS

It is a habit of mine to screen shot quotes, notable lines and passages that describe how I feel, what I go through and those that may describe events in my life. I remember these were scrolled when I was in my first few months in America. Severe intensity of anxiety was creeping all over me. Thinking about Mamang, what might have happened while I was away, how I would cope with the
overwhelming changes and challenges hounding me. Everything was new. I am an alien in a totally different world, away from my comfort zone. 

I kept on rereading these lines, I cried to Jesus. I did not want to get mad at Him, I opened all my worries and fears to Him. "Since He Himself has gone through suffering,"it brought peace to my heart that He will stay with me.

I still worry every now and then, I awoke in the middle of dawn, wondering where my journey will lead me. It is a process, I know as I continue to breathe, the road will never be smooth all the time. I continue to cling to my faith and positive attitude that I will survive.  With His help, the people who love me and my courage. 

Pray. Believe. Survive.