Hello, past year. You were by far the most memorable in a not so nice way, you will truly go down in history as THE pandemic one with the havoc spread by SARS cOV 2. The whole world paused and stopped for a while. Hundreds of thousands lives were lost, everyone of all ages was affected. The lockdowns, the economic hardship and household turmoil, and the battleground frontliners are trying to win amidst the risk in our lives.
You were too much to take. Twice or thrice, you almost got me to succumb and surrender. But there is this power that pops out in me at the most crucial time that always brings me up with resilience and hope. Oh 2020, you were never bad after all. Truth to tell, I have these best things jotted down;
- I passed the Certified Dialysis Nurse examination. I am now Michelle Del Rosario, MSN, CDN, RN. I sacrificed and studied all things Nephrology- transplant, acute and home therapies; peritoneal dialysis and in-center hemodialysis. I want to remember 2020 as the year I made a major milestone in my profession.
- One new state ticked off my USA map- Arizona. Drove going there by myself, with my iTunes playlists as company. Josephine my manager had me at "It's just all the way 10", and it was like that, almost four hours on Interstate 10. My sister and cousin Arlette always supports me with my wishes, she was cool with adventures I have in mind. So few days prior to my birthday, we explored the many different awesome places tucked in different cities and towns of AZ. I hope to write a separate blog about this trip soon.
- My DR family is healthy, safe and we are all alive. Health is indeed wealth. We did not have our annual November holidays as was planned to commemorate Mamang's death anniversary. We barely see Mykee and Kadie. It's in physical distancing that we can show our care for one another. Praise be to God, no one got sick. Each sneeze, headache and body sore gives an elevated sense of nervousness with the inevitable question- Do I have COVID?:(
- I so feel in my bones, heart and veins that I am a Registered Nurse as I care for PUIs and COVID positive patients. The pandemic has been described the World War III as no nation was spared from the virus' fury. No armed men with guns and weapons on the front line, it is us- the healthcare workers and first responders, with PPE as our shield. The face marks and shortness of breath brought about by wearing the N95 mask 12 hours a day, the unfamiliar Code Blues and paperworks multiplied by ten caught me in tears many a times already. Tears just simply fall. I let myself cry. But I do not surrender.
- Zoom daily rosaries, Eucharistic celebrations on special occasions and fun parties spearheaded by my sister Arlette. WE are one together, in all places of the globe praying to GOD and asking for Mama Mary's intercession. We laugh and share random stories. Each time Among Chingkido is present, I make sure I make him laugh with my bows, lipstick or funny antics. The kids had their virtual Money Line on Christmas Day.
- I enjoy and love my work. I have such an incredibly amazing team. We get tired and grouchy, we sometimes grasp for breath (literally) as we wear the N95 12 hours a day but we always manage to collect ourselves and jump back to care for our patients and for one another.
- My Koyas and I have each other's back. We know that we can count on each other in the most trying times. I love the fact that we share one another's happiness in the same heightened degree too. We remain to be each other's confidante and how even if they are all lads, I can talk to them for a long period discussing various topics like sports, politics, family what-have you's, etc.
- I remain in close connection with Cleng, Ate Tonette, Harry, Prince and my other old friends despite the time zone difference.
- Faith, hope and charity remain to be fired up in my heart.Faith is believing in the unseen. As long as there is hope, life is worth living for. Charity- the least I can do is to share a little of what I have. It is not about monetary help. For me, the time and prayers I shared are the most valuable.
- It is cathartic that I have regular girl-bond connection and communication with teammates Jil, Gretchen, Rhoda and my gorgeous sisters- Joann and Arlette. We laugh and talk about anything under the sun. Joann and Arlette are not only my cousins- they are sisters and friends. We do Zoom video calls and virtual pictorials. Lol!!
- Lakers as NBA 2020 Champions. I soooo prayed and asked for this. My pride was at stake on social media as I screamed to the world I badly wanted a Championship ring. ALL FOR KOBE!!! We lost him January, a title is a fitting tribute to the Best Player ever.
- My Chewy- my antidote to covid-anxiety stress. His embraces and snuggles calm my tired and gloomy nights post-duty. I planned to buy him a teddy bear so he will cease bothering me with his "giligit" but he says "Tita, a teddy bear is not moving and the skin is not as soft as yours. Your skin is like a baby and you smell like a baby. "Hayyy, my Baby Chewy.
- Mamang's love continue to be the wind beneath my wings, the fuel that keeps me standing in this sometimes cruel world. Her unconditional love that reminds me I am loved, no matter what. She remains to be my greatest inspiration and motivation in life.
- GOD. I sometimes let go of His protection. I am a stubborn and selfish kid. I break rules, I hurt people. I can be very impatient and too demanding. Yet I know, HE is still beside me, watching me fall and rise. I need not explain myself to anyone. Everything that is in my heart and soul is only known by me and Him. "Loving and forgiving are you, slow to anger, rich in kindness. Loving and forgiving are You."
One thing I am proud of myself is I have mastered the art of gratitude. In any circumstance, in the darkest and brightest day, in sorrow and joy, in hope and despair, in healing and pain- I can always find reasons to be thankful for. Dear 2020, you did not allow my other goals to materialize (watch Taylor Swift, go swim in Boracay) but you enhanced my resilience and compassion, and strengthened my faith and hope. For this and all that I have scribbled above, I thank you.
2020. Best Things. Thankful.
