#2 Beauty and the Beast of COVID 19

My everdearest Mamang,

How are you??I know I shouldn't worry about you as you are in the safest and perfect place. Maybe it's you who wants to ask that question to us, especially as we are in turmoil of uncertainties lately. Pero ali rin siguru, coz you know that everything is under control, that needless anxiety will bring us nowhere. 

I can hear you telling us to keep on praying and have faith in God and mankind. Once, someone asked me "Nukarin ing faith mu?" I simply replied "Please try not to question my faith?" But let the sassy Mitzi say this- I have this deep, unwavering faith because of you. Your trust in the Lord, your prayers have always been your firm cushion and shield in any battle.You never faltered in times of tragedies and trials, you wept with a sorrowful heart for every pain my Koyas and I ,experienced. And yet, you stood firm and composed with strength so contagious, we always managed to get up and move again.

You did not raise me with Disney fairytales of princesses and princes as you introduced us early on the realities of life- the cruelty of the world, meanness of few people, the dangers of complacency and hatred, that we can't have all we want but God will suffice what we need.Alongside, you showed us how to live a life worth living. You were never afraid to love and forgive. You basked in the goodness of people around you,tried in your own ways to be nicer and generous in return. 

You were far from perfect, Ma. You didn't even have a single signature dish that we can boast of.:) Even the most simple Kapampangan food staple sinigang of yours deserved a barely passing grade.Your "NI"(needs improvement) in homechores is forgiveable.:) How it was our hobby to "judge" people when they wear unmatched or baduy clothes.

The BEAST of not having you around anymore is that I still miss you soooo much. I miss your voice the most. My heart continues to pierce into pieces for every DR occasion/holidays as I look at us and realize we actually don't have parents anymore. Can that be my excuse that's why I act "mag-inda-inda" to C, Beloy and Boo?:) I scroll my phone's photo albums and all I have are old pictures and videos of yours. I guess I have to live with that. Samantha is in college already, since last year we have been looking forward for Jack's high school graduation. Kadie will move up to secondary education too. Oh and Ma, Mykela has an angelic voice especially when she sings christian songs.I long to hear your funny and weird comments  on society issues, how I realized my loyalty really is with Ate Kris and not with ABS,when I vent my complaints at work , when I give you a list of my dream places to see, clothes and sneakers to buy and about my crushes. I just miss you very much, always and today.


On the other hand, not having you anymore with us here on earth has its own BEAUTY. You are now free from suffering, pain and agony.Pure joy, perfect peace surround you.You live eternal life with all the angels and saints. You have the best kind of life. 

A few days ago I told the family, I am somehow glad you are not here anymore. I can imagine lengthy and repetitive discussions and debates with you that you can't attend Eucharistic celebrations, I know how you will refuse our pleas and explanations. I got my stubbornness from you, agree??:)

You are free from all the chaos COVID 19  create and spread around the globe. You are not here to witness that for the first time ever ( as far as I remember in my 42 years of existence), Holy Week celebrations will be online alone. Your voice on my head- "Nanu tang online ayan??" 

March 25, your natal day is The Day Of Annunciation. The first Joyful Mystery. Thank you Mang for giving me the joy of being your most beautiful daughter. Your love, lessons and a life lived to the fullest will be more than enough to keep me fueled for a lifetime.

Today, on your special day, Pope Francis "is calling all Christians to be united in prayer" and pray the Lord's Prayer. Mang, please pray for us and with us??

Happy birthday my darling Cor. Let's blow your 83 candles here and wish for COVID 19 to leave asap, for safety and good health of everyone, for healing of the whole world and for more patience for my Koyas to tolerate my insanity.. Don't worry about us, we will be fine. We have you and Papang looking after us, anyhow.I love you soooo much. 

Postscript:
Sorry that we have to cancel a small celebration for you.Bawal kasi more than 10 people in a gathering eh!:) Nonetheless, Ate Reggie will cook pansit for you.:)

Mamang. Forever. Love.

#1 Beauty and the Beast of COVID 19

Beauty- I do not have to fear that I will lose my job. Salary will continue to flow to pay the bills and expenses, providing financial security. Malls, theme parks, arenas and other commercial establishments are turning into ghost towns. I feel for the personnel who are paid by the hour, worried on how they will take care of their families with this uncertainty. am not stuck at home obsessing about this pandemic crisis which is giving unwelcome results globally.

Beast- Much as I want to simply stay at home for social distancing and safety, it's not an option at this critical time. We are at the frontline, determining among patients who have manifestations of cough and fever; following algorithms and guidelines from the medical director, corporate and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). We continue to provide treatment, at bay and in  close contact with several people as we provide direct patient care. This we do, hoping and praying we remain healthy as we wash our hands very frequently, paper cuts occur to us so often.

I choose BEAUTY over the beast of course. Despite and in spite of the "danger" of my job, I consider it as an appanage to be of service and help to others in this trying time. In my college years, it was told to us that "Nursing is not a profession, it is a vocation." We wore a white cap on top of our tightly-bunned hair in our clinical rotations and a preceptor mentioned the cap means Charity over pleasure.

Nurses here in USA are known to be well-paid. Many times over, people will tell me I must be loaded with moolah coz I am an RN( and single) and paid by the hour. True, we are compensated justly, but see the hazards of our profession now. I am honored and humbled to continue the legacy of Florence Nightingale in my own, little ways.

I want to make a shout-out to all my fellow nurses. You are all my heroes!!! Know your worth, ladies and gentlemen.

Profession. Vocation. Compassion.

Historic Route 66

Yayyyy!!One February Sunday, I finally captured a selfie with a California US 66 Historic Route signage. I live less than 12 miles from various boards yet it took awhile for me to have it done. One ticked off item on my SMART Goals for 2020.:)

Why is it  called historic? Got my answer from Wikipedia:

U.S. Route 66 or U.S. Highway 66 (US 66 or Route 66), also known as the Will Rogers Highway, the Main Street of America or the Mother Road, was one of the original highways in the U.S. Highway System. US 66 was established on November 11, 1926, with road signs erected the following year.^[4] The highway, which became one of the most famous roads in the United States, originally ran from Chicago, Illinois, through Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona before ending in Santa Monica in Los Angeles County, California, covering a total of 2,448 miles (3,940 km).^[5] It was recognized in popular culture by both the hit song "(Get Your Kicks on) Route 66" and the Route 66 television series, which aired on CBS from 1960 to 1964. In John Steinbeck's classic American novel, The Grapes of Wrath (1939), the road "Highway 66" symbolized escape and loss.

Specific. Measurable.Attainable.